DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a freelance journalist who has been living, off and on, in a private room at a hostel off the beaten path.
I love the place because it’s gorgeous and usually has excellent vibes, but there are basically 15 of us keeping it in business. It is unfortunately quite close to a war zone.
Anyway, the most recent time I visited, there was a new volunteer at the hostel. After I had checked out and said my goodbyes, I walked through the gate to catch my ride to the airport.
This volunteer then blocked my way and cornered me. She went on a yelling, screaming rant, saying that I hadn’t left my private room (which I paid $100/night for) clean enough for her liking, and that it’s “not her job” to clean up after me.
I hadn’t even been aware she was a volunteer, as I hadn’t seen her work at all before, and certainly didn’t know she was making up my room. I calmly explained to her that I had tried to clean it a bit (to which she responded, in a mocking tone, “Oh, you tried???”), that most guests don’t clean their rooms in hostels at all, and that when I was a hostel volunteer, I changed something like 200 people’s beds in a day — and that it was, in fact, her job.
She continued to argue with me and corner me, attempting to prevent me from accessing my ride.
What was most upsetting was that the owner refused to fire her because it would be “bad for morale.” He fully expected me to come back a week later — which was originally the plan — but didn’t even offer an apology for the way I was treated, or any assurances as to consequences for her behavior.
I’m so furious. My loyalty, my money, my friendship over the past year … it’s meant nothing, I guess. I want to go back, but this experience has been extremely upsetting. What do I do now?
GENTLE READER: One would have thought yelling at the clients was bad for morale, but these days, Miss Manners is not so sure.
There are, no doubt, a number of ways to voice your displeasure to a wider audience online, but that will neither restore the status quo ante nor get you an apology — which is presumably the goal.
Either or both of those outcomes may be possible with a private note to the owner, expressing your disappointment and saying that you won’t be returning since you no longer feel welcome or safe.
It is then up to him to make matters right. Once things have calmed down and the volunteer has moved on — and once he realizes he has lost one of his 15 core customers — the owner will no doubt see things in a different light.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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