DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got cast on a game show that I’ve watched for years and I’ve always wanted to be on!
This is a dream come true and very exciting; however, filming it takes about 45 days. I don’t have enough vacation time from my job, so if I go on the show, I would have to quit my job.
I didn’t think that I would get this far in the casting process, so I never thought about what I would do if I got chosen to be on the show.
I can always get a new job, but I have been working at this company for seven years, and I really like it here. Plus, the job market is tough right now, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get another job easily after filming the show.
I feel torn between being practical and taking a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I might regret passing up forever. Part of me worries that choosing the show would be irresponsible and set me back financially and professionally, while another part of me feels like opportunities like this don’t come around twice.
How do I decide what the right move is when both options feel risky in different ways?
— Wanna Play
DEAR WANNA PLAY: Have you spoken to anyone at your company about this? You say you have worked there for seven years. Speak to your supervisor and explain your dilemma.
Express your astonishment at being selected and your heartfelt desire to go for it. Ask if there is any way you could take unpaid leave from work to go.
Be clear that you love your job and don’t want to lose it, but you would also love the chance to be on this show.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I overheard my boyfriend on the phone with his parents having an intense discussion about his current job and future.
His parents were asking him if and when he plans to go back to college and complete his bachelor’s degree. Apparently, according to his parents, this current job promised him a raise upon achieving his bachelor’s and an additional raise six months thereafter.
My boyfriend got defensive, telling his parents to butt out, saying that he’ll find his own way to make more money.
They sounded disappointed, and I have to say that I am, too.
My boyfriend already completed nearly three years’ worth of a bachelor’s program, and honestly, a raise would be great for him. I worry that his stubbornness will hold him back.
This wasn’t even a conversation I was meant to hear, but if I’m concerned, should I bring it up anyway?
— The Future
DEAR THE FUTURE: Chances are, your boyfriend will balk if you bring up what you heard. Instead, talk to him about his dreams for the future, and share yours.
What do you hope to do careerwise, in your relationship and so forth? Do you plan to continue your education? If so, what does that look like? Do you ever want to get married? What does marriage look like to you? Ask him the same.
Get him to open up about his dreams and how he might manifest them. From a hopeful stance, you can then ask him about education.
Notice the red flag: His parents are urging him to get his degree, and he’ll get a raise if he does it, yet these incentives are not working, so what does that mean for you? How motivated is he?
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Leave a Reply