DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling with chronic fatigue for way too long.
After the pandemic, I spent about four years working strictly from home. It had its pros and cons — one of those cons being that I now struggle to maintain normal energy outside of my home.
I work in person in New York City and have been getting back into the swing of public transportation, speed walking and staying awake! I guess I am no longer used to the hustle and bustle of commuting and being on high alert in heavily populated settings.
I used to work for 10 hours straight while at home, but for some reason, I find myself nodding off now that I’m in the office.
I don’t want to come off as a bad hire or incompetent, so I need to figure this out ASAP. I’ve tried incorporating vitamins into my regimen, going to sleep earlier and avoiding screens before bed, but I’m still struggling.
Any advice for managing my fatigue?
— Low Energy
DEAR LOW ENERGY: Start by getting a physical examination to make sure that your body is healthy. Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling, and ask for recommendations to support your new routine.
Next, map out things you can do during the workday to up your energy.
Typically, people get a bit lethargic after lunch and toward late afternoon. Can you take a 15-minute break right before you normally get sluggish and take a vigorous walk outside your building? If not, go into the restroom and do a few jumping jacks to get your blood flowing.
Every hour, stand up for a few minutes, stretch and move your body. When you begin to feel sleepy, get up and walk around in the office. Schedule a few minutes for brief socializing where you talk to co-workers. This can help you get to know them and keep you alert.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m having a tough time figuring out my relationship status. My partner and I agreed to have an open relationship, but in reality, neither of us has ever acted on it.
Recently, I met someone I like, and it’s the first time I’ve wanted to explore a connection outside of my relationship. The problem is that I feel guilty — almost like I’m doing something wrong, even though we agreed this was allowed.
Is it normal to feel this conflicted? How do I honor my existing relationship while also being honest about my feelings and curiosity?
— Torn but Curious
DEAR TORN BUT CURIOUS: Think through the what-ifs. If you genuinely like your partner and want to be in a monogamous relationship with them, now is the time to make that known.
Have a conversation with them where you acknowledge that you have an attraction to someone else, but you realize you are concerned about acting on it because you are committed where you are. Be open and honest with your partner.
Part of your apprehension may be that if you open the door to this other person, there’s a chance you may grow to like them. Then what? Part of being in a monogamous relationship is that you keep that door closed and choose to focus only on each other intimately.
Express your concern that you aren’t sure you want to risk the consequences that may come after that breach of boundaries. Talk to your partner and discover how they feel about it. This can be an eye-opening conversation that will lead you to understand what choice is best for you.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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