DEAR ABBY: I am a teacher. I love my job, and I love my students. However, as I near the end of my 26th year of teaching, there’s something I need to get off my chest.
At the end of every school year, many parents ask me to write a personal note to their student as an inscription in a certain children’s book. They request this of all of their kids’ teachers, then give the book as a graduation gift.
It’s a cute idea, but what it amounts to is a large stack of paperwork at a time of the school year when I’m already drowning in paperwork.
I’m writing this to say publicly: Please stop!
Parents, I love your kids, and I did my best to teach them and make sure they had a wonderful year. I tried to instill in them a passion for learning and a love of reading. I also helped them to navigate tricky social situations and move forward as wiser people.
I am not saying this to pat myself on the back, I’m doing it to let you know I have already given your kids my all.
Before you demand that I perform an extra task for you, multiply that task by 25 and imagine what that means for me at an extremely stressful and busy time of year.
If you appreciate what I did for your child, please show your appreciation by not laying extra work on me at the end of the school year. Thanks, Abby.
— ALREADY OVERWHELMED IN NEW YORK
DEAR ALREADY OVERWHELMED: I’m printing your letter to parents, however, some of them may miss my column today. That is why I am suggesting that the answer to your problem may be as simple as sending a message IN ADVANCE to these well-meaning parents, reminding them that this is a stressful time of year for you and please not to ask.
DEAR ABBY: I have been with a man for 25 years. The first few years were wonderful, but then he turned to drugs and became a different person.
I can’t get away from him. I work two jobs to support us. He doesn’t respect me. I have asked him to leave repeatedly. He refuses. I leave it at that so as to avoid rocking the boat, because he can be a jerk.
I’m ready to pack up and move, but everything here is mine. What should I do?
— OUT THE DOOR IN THE EAST
DEAR OUT: Schedule an appointment with an attorney to discuss your problem. You should no longer support your drug-addicted abuser because by doing so, you have become his enabler.
If you feel he presents a danger to you or your property, file a police report and ask for a restraining order. With their help, you may finally be able to pry him out of your home. If you are afraid that he will retaliate, install a security system.
For further suggestions, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or thehotline.org.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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