DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have lived in a country home for the past 25 years.
When we moved here, our only neighbors were wild turkeys, deer and raccoons. Behind our house were 20 acres of woods, which extended into a cornfield. We were isolated and loved it.
Since then, a housing development has slowly been built around us. Last fall, a couple built a house behind us. Their rear deck is within 20 feet of our property line. The back of their house has large bedroom windows. They cut down all of the beautiful, mature trees from their lot.
I have always had a dusk-to-dawn sensor light at the rear of my house for security reasons and to dissuade raccoons. Now this couple is complaining that because their house is so close to my property line and the trees (which acted as a privacy barrier) are gone, my security light of 25 years is shining into their bedroom windows and disturbing them. They want me to get rid of it.
Of course, my attitude is that we and that light have been here for 25 years. They saw our house and property lines before they chose to build there and remove all their trees.
I am not inclined to accommodate them, but I’m open to suggestions from you.
— BRIGHT GUY IN OHIO
DEAR BRIGHT GUY: I do have one. Explain to these new neighbors that your security light was installed to discourage trespassers and wild animals. Then suggest they install blackout curtains or shutters in their bedroom windows to prevent unwanted light from seeping in.
If that doesn’t solve the problem, and there is a governing body for your growing neighborhood, ask that the matter be mediated.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have two children and work opposite evening shifts so that one of us is home with the kids at all times.
Recently, my best friend from high school surprised me with concert tickets to our favorite band, but the concert is on a night I’m supposed to be with the kids.
I don’t have any friends or family around to babysit the children, so I asked my boyfriend if he would take the night off so that I can go to this concert. He told me the only way he would do that is if I reimburse him for his missed wages (approximately $300).
Do you think it’s fair to charge me to watch his own children?
— CONFUSED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR CONFUSED: Should you reimburse your boyfriend for the wages he will miss if he takes off work so you can attend that concert? If his employer doesn’t provide for personal time off, he will be out the money, and since you are the one altering your agreed-upon arrangement, you should reimburse him.
What the two of you need to work out in the future is some form of plan so your children will be taken care of in the (hopefully unlikely) event that something should happen to both of you at the same time.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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