DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a wonderful date last week. I encouraged myself to go to a networking event alone and ended up meeting an intriguing gentleman.
We both decided to show up for ourselves, and throughout the evening we spoke about how we were new to branching out but determined to do so. The conversation felt illuminating yet platonic, so when he asked me to grab drinks afterwards, I agreed.
By the end of the night, we were blatantly flirting and enjoying each other’s company. We spoke about other activities we could do and places we could see together at a later date. We had food at one place and drinks at two others.
This was the most unexpected turn of the evening, and somehow we both forgot to exchange contact information! I think we both were a bit inebriated.
We did exchange full names, and though it felt a bit invasive I Googled this lovely man. I found that a lot of his professional details are available online, but no email or social accounts.
Do you have any suggestions on how to find a person when you have so little to go on?
— Lost Romance
DEAR LOST ROMANCE: The hopeless romantic in me wants to believe that you two will find each other if it is meant to be.
In this day and age, it cannot be that hard to find a person. Think a little longer about whether you had any people in common. Might there be someone you know who knows him? If you cannot figure that out, just have patience.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for seven years, and we don’t have children.
We originally agreed to hold off for a few years so we could enjoy married life with just the two of us. As time has passed, I’ve realized that I enjoy not having the additional responsibility that comes with children.
We have been able to build up a strong savings while still being able to travel and go on dates often. We make good money, but if we had a child, our life would not look the same. I feel selfish admitting this, but I don’t want to give any of this up.
My husband feels ready to have a child. Lately, this difference has started to create tension between us.
He talks with excitement about becoming a parent, while I feel anxious whenever the topic comes up. I worry about whether I would resent giving up the freedom we’ve worked so hard to build together.
I love my husband, and I don’t want him to feel like I’m dismissing his dreams for our future. At the same time, I’m afraid that agreeing to have a child when my heart isn’t fully in it could lead to regret or resentment down the line.
How do I talk to my husband about how I feel in this situation?
— Conflicted
DEAR CONFLICTED: Sit down and tell your husband the truth. Be completely honest and work through it.
Sacrifice is real when you have children, but it can be the most rewarding experience you will ever have. You have to decide together if and when you are ready to take that step.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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