DEAR HARRIETTE: My company recently hired an entry-level colleague to our team, and I am annoyed that I am the one who has to train her.
She graduated from college last May, and this is her first job. I understand that she is not expected to know anything, but our work is fast-paced, and it’s frustrating to have to slow down for her to take the time to understand what’s going on.
When I explain a task or walk her through a process, it doesn’t seem to click a lot of the time. As a result, I end up repeating myself or redoing work that I thought I had already explained, which adds to my own workload and stress.
When I first started working 15 years ago, I was just as clueless, so it’s hard for me to stay mad, especially since my new colleague genuinely wants to learn and do a good job, but it’s still annoying. I worry that constantly accommodating her learning curve is impacting my own performance and will affect my end-of-year bonus.
How do I balance being a supportive teammate and protecting my own time at work? Should I talk to my boss about the situation or try and continue training my colleague as best as I can?
— Reluctant Coach
DEAR RELUCTANT COACH: Pick specific times of the day when you will coach this employee. Tell her that you want to structure your interaction to make both of you more efficient. Suggest that she gather her questions and thoughts, consider her options and present you with her needs and challenges at those points in the day. This may help her to develop some independence and troubleshoot for herself.
You can also talk to your supervisor to ask for suggestions on how to support this employee more effectively. Don’t sound frustrated, though. Calmly share your concern and request support.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently met someone, and I am thrilled. I haven’t been in a relationship in years.
When we attempted to get intimate, though, we had a major problem. I am a woman of a certain age, and it was too uncomfortable for successful penetration. We have tried a few times since with no success.
I was shocked, as was my partner. This is so embarrassing. I didn’t know this could happen.
I’ve tried over-the-counter creams, but they didn’t work. There are so many of them, I don’t know what to choose. I’m afraid I will lose my guy if I can’t fulfill this part of our relationship. What can I do?
— Too Tight
DEAR TOO TIGHT: Make an appointment with a gynecologist who can examine you and make recommendations, including possible hormone therapy. Your condition is common for post-menopausal women and can often be remedied.
Doctors suggest that estrogen replacement is what may partially reverse what is known as vaginal atrophy. Talk to your doctor and find out what may work for you.
Ask your partner to be patient; there are other ways to satisfy that aspect of a relationship, and you can explore them in the meantime.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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