DEAR MISS MANNERS: While at lunch at a casual restaurant, I noticed a woman joining a large group, who were all standing around before sitting at their table. I immediately noticed that her zipper was unzipped, and that her underwear could be seen quite easily.
Initially, she was standing a little off to the side, and I wondered if I should inconspicuously whisper to her that she was unzipped. I waited too long to decide before she and the group began to seat themselves.
I asked the people at my table what they would have done, and most said they wouldn’t have said anything to her. I felt I would rather have a stranger (who I probably would never see again) tell me, so that I could quickly go to the bathroom and zip up before — hopefully — anyone in my party (who I would see again) noticed.
If I weren’t told, once I discovered my zipper had been open the whole time, I would be embarrassed, wondering who in my party noticed.
I am curious to know the proper etiquette in this situation.
GENTLE READER: If you find yourself saying, “Somebody should say something …” then remember that you are somebody. Say something. Subtly and to the side, of course. As you mentioned, you would be grateful if someone did that for you.
But you now have the benefit of knowing that none of the people at your table that night would be that someone. Miss Manners recommends you take special care with zippers and spinach the next time you are in their company.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am appalled at the current practice on TV home decor shows of placing books with their titles to the wall. It is a huge fad.
I keep waiting for one of the hosts to realize that anyone who actually might read a book would walk into that home and assume the people who live there don’t know what a book is for. Your opinion?
GENTLE READER: Using books as decoration is hardly new. But gone are the days when those books were displayed to show off the intellect and interests of their owners — and with it, the pretense, at least, that their owners had read them. True enthusiasts took pride in how they organized them — by author, subject or both.
But then home decorators swooped in and put books in rainbow order, or sorted them by height, making it impossible to find the one you wanted — unless one was feeling pink that day and merely chose a book to accessorize.
Unless the bookshelf has no backing and can be flipped around, putting them in backwards is, indeed, dumb. It is the home decorating equivalent of a “naked cake” –unattractive and exposed for no reason. Although at least the cake shows you its contents.
Still, Miss Manners supposes she should be grateful that physical books are displayed in the home at all. This silly fad will change back again — it did with vinyl records — as people start to realize that in order to judge a book by its cover, one actually has to see it.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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