DEAR MISS MANNERS: On occasion, my husband and I visit local restaurants. When I go to wash my hands in the ladies’ room, I often find that the sinks and floors need attention.
I leave, hands unwashed, and tell the nearest employee that the ladies’ room needs attention. I usually also find the manager.
On occasion, nothing happens, and I have to rely on the prepackaged “wet naps” that I carry in my purse to sanitize my hands.
Even if the room is clean, I avoid using the door handle when exiting. I wait for another lady to leave, and follow her closely, using my elbows to manage the door.
What, oh dear, if I needed that facility for more than washing my hands or powdering my nose? I have quickly left restaurants with my husband when no one attends the facility. What might I say to the manager, other than “I need to use your ladies’ room, now, and it is too dirty to use”?
What should I do? Even in perfectly lovely restaurants, this happens. What is happening to the world? Yes, I have dined in D.C. and have found the same issue.
GENTLE READER: That was not Miss Manners’ next question, actually, but OK.
Far be it for her to be in the position of defending a dirty bathroom, but she cannot help noticing that your standards are quite high. And that the ladies you are “following closely,” with your elbows all akimbo, might have something to say about your solution.
If none of the bathrooms — be the restaurants lovely, local and/or in D.C. — are up to your standards, you may want to eat at home. Although the industry can always take note and do better.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What degree of formality is proper for a musician at an afternoon concert?
As a performer of a certain age, I have seen everything from tailored dresses to gowns glittering with beads and spangles — and for men, anything from the most casual outfits to formal wear. Length of skirt no longer seems to matter, as the skimpiest dresses go to formal affairs and full-length granny dresses are seen at the grocery store at 9 a.m.
GENTLE READER: Perhaps dress length feels irrelevant in terms of fashion (although Miss Manners will still quibble with your more extreme examples), but it is certainly relevant in terms of function — especially for a musician.
Skimpy dresses do not play well with harps, cellos and basses. Knees should be well-covered, no matter what time of day, unless the performer is planning a secondary show.
For an afternoon event, tea-length (something that falls around midcalf) is expected for women in dressy day fabrics (silk, organza, cotton with some sheen), while daytime suits are expected for men (in gray, black or navy fabrics with no sheen).
The point is for clothes to be polished, neutral, functional and free from distraction. The music should be the focal point, not glittery things that catch the light and blind the conductor — and certainly not the exposed undergarments of the performers.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Leave a Reply