DEAR HARRIETTE: I met this lovely guy … or so I thought.
We met at a gathering with mutual friends, and by the end of the night, the two of us were tucked away in our own corner. That same night, he texted me and asked if he could see me again at the end of the week. He sent a restaurant and a time and asked if that was OK with my taste and schedule. I agreed.
Over the next few days, he texted and called me, and we had good conversations. It all felt so intentional.
On the night of our plans, I texted him to say I was on my way — no response. When I arrived, I asked for a reservation in his name or mine — neither existed. I called him again and got no answer. Since I was already out and dressed up, I decided to dine alone and give him the benefit of the doubt.
The next day, he continued posting normally on social media and still has not issued an apology or even an excuse.
What is the meaning of this? What would make someone show such deep interest just to stand me up?
— Table for One
DEAR TABLE FOR ONE: He sounds like a stalker or at least a manipulator. Perhaps it’s good that it ended before it started. Some behavior doesn’t make sense.
While it was confusing and hurtful, don’t belabor this moment. Good for you that you took yourself out and had a nice meal. You were smart not to let him derail you.
At the same time, it can make it hard to trust someone on a basic level when you have been ghosted for no apparent reason.
It sounds like you did all the right things. Maybe in the future if someone doesn’t confirm plans, don’t go.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom can be moody, and when she’s in a bad space, it affects the entire household.
This week, especially, she’s been off, giving me the silent treatment or speaking to me sharply for no clear reason.
What’s hardest is that once my dad comes home from work, her mood suddenly shifts. She’s warm and upbeat with him, which makes it seem like I’m the one being difficult or withdrawn. I feel stuck carrying the emotional weight of her bad days, and it’s starting to wear on me.
I’ve considered telling my dad what’s been happening, but I worry that it will create tension or feel like I’m betraying her. At the same time, I don’t think it’s fair to quietly absorb this behavior and let it affect my joy.
How do I protect my emotional well-being in a household where moods change so dramatically? Is telling my dad the right step or would it make things worse?
— Moody Mom
DEAR MOODY MOM: You should talk to your father about your mother’s behavior. You should not have to carry the burden of this on your own.
Explain to him what has been happening, and ask for help. Tell him how hard it is for you to weather her bad days — especially in contrast to how she perks up when he arrives at the end of the day.
Your mother might need medical attention. Perhaps your father can convince her to go to the doctor.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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