DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently took out loans so I could go on a vacation. I know that sounds financially irresponsible, but I hadn’t gone anywhere in 10 years.
I work paycheck to paycheck, and I needed a break from working all the time. For a moment, the trip made me feel human again, rested in a way I haven’t felt in years.
Now that I’m home, reality has set in. I’m overwhelmed by guilt and anxiety about the debt I added to my already tight finances. I keep replaying the decision in my head, wondering if I was selfish for choosing rest over responsibility.
At the same time, I can’t ignore how close I felt to breaking before I left, and I worry about what will happen if I never allow myself moments of relief.
I’m struggling to reconcile my need for rest with the constant pressure to make the “smart” financial choice.
Was this a mistake I should regret, or is it OK to acknowledge that survival sometimes requires more than just paying bills? How do I move forward without punishing myself for finally choosing my own well-being?
— Riddled With Guilt
DEAR RIDDLED WITH GUILT: You already took out the loan and spent the money, so there’s no use beating yourself up over it. You made a decision that you thought would provide some relief for your stressed-out life. Did you enjoy your vacation? I hope so.
Rather than spiraling out about how much money you spent, focus on the future. What can you do today to help improve your quality of life?
While you cannot afford regular vacations, you can do things to take care of yourself. Schedule in some type of physical activity each week. Find free events in your town. Put yourself in social environments so that you can have a little fun. Find ways to smile, even as you map out a strategy to pay your bills and earn a living.
Stop fretting about what was. Live your life.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been tasked with a huge assignment at work, and I feel overwhelmed.
I’ve felt this way for months, but I was able to skate by doing what I can without raising too many flags. Now that we have this major assignment, though, it is hard for me to avoid my workload. The spotlight is on me, and I feel like I don’t have the capacity to give my all to this project.
We’re a small team, so I don’t feel like I have the option to share the workload with my boss or my colleagues. There’s no one else on the team who is available to take on this project.
Do I have any other options? How do I get back to feeling motivated and capable of doing my best work?
— Burnout
DEAR BURNOUT: Your boss will appreciate the heads-up that you do not have the capacity to complete the work at hand. It’s much better to say something before you miss a deadline than to apologize after.
Ask for help. Who knows what will happen? Perhaps your company can find interns or interim workers who can come in for a few days or weeks to help lighten the load.
As uncomfortable as you may be in revealing your inability to get the job done, trust that a cry for help now is better than the alternative.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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